Last night, we were sitting at the dining room table, eating dinner. Our middle child turned to me and said, "Daddy, is it "life's buttocks is green?" I replied, "WHAT????". He repeated himself, and I said, "I don't know what you're talking about!" Neither did anyone else sitting at the table. He said, "You know, "Row, row, row your boat gentee down duh stream; merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life's buttocks is green." At this point, everyone burst out laughing.
In my last post, I wrote in generalities about the power of words - but my son reminded me that what we say (or think we say) is not necessarily what the listener hears. Each week, as people leave the church building following worship, I hear about one sermon nugget from one person, a different nugget from another couple, and something that I think has nothing to do with my sermon from yet another person.
Words are transmitted by the giver and receiver in many different ways, depending upon several variables. Individual variables are too many to name, but I would like to highlight a couple. First, not everyone gains the same thing from tone and inflection. This concept is particularly the case for listeners who do not know the speaker or the speaker's style of communication. Second, external variables affect both the speaker and listener; illness, stress, family issues, school, work, or lack of sleep can be distracting and not allow us to use our best communication skills.
At times, we can simply laugh away the mis-communication (sometimes in gut-wrenching ways) when "life's buttocks is green." However, as often as we can laugh it off, misunderstandings can lead to broken relationships, hurt feelings, and divisions. As I've said previously, words have the power to heal (in this case, through laughter), but words also have the power to inflict pain. No matter the words we choose, keep the listener in mind. Do your best to know their life situations - their stresses, joys, and concerns, because you can tailor your words to work within the parameters so that they can hear what you've said; and, even when they cannot, you stand a better chance of rolling on the floor, laughing your heads off!
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
The Power of Words
This week, I've been reminded constantly about the power of words. As a pastor and preacher, I deal with unleashing the word almost every day. I notice the power of words to bring healing and hope. I witness the power of words to tear down and destroy.
I've had the opportunity this week to be challenged by the words that have left my mouth. In two instances, both on the same day, I was highly aware of my words and how they shaped the people around me. The first instance was at the school where I volunteer teach a couple of hours three times a week. A student, who does not follow directions and is often inappropriate, decided to talk back to me. In a torrent of words (not yelling, but being very clear and direct), I expressed my disappointment and reiterated my expectations related to classroom behavior.
Later that same day, I had a conversation with two young persons related to their behavior in the church. I will admit that their behavior was distracting to myself and to others, and really did not allow people to focus their attention on God. I spoke calmly to them, but I also laid out my expectations and reasons for being disappointed in their behavior.
The reactions to my use and choice of words were polar opposites. One youth was on the verge of tears; another seemed indifferent; the child in the classroom was almost defiant. Our words have the power to bring out the worst or the best in someone. Proverbs 18:21 says that "the tongue has the power of life and death...", so we ought not take the power of words lightly. They can build up or destroy our spirits. Words can wound or heal; regardless, we must remember that our words have power. We must choose and use them wisely.
I've had the opportunity this week to be challenged by the words that have left my mouth. In two instances, both on the same day, I was highly aware of my words and how they shaped the people around me. The first instance was at the school where I volunteer teach a couple of hours three times a week. A student, who does not follow directions and is often inappropriate, decided to talk back to me. In a torrent of words (not yelling, but being very clear and direct), I expressed my disappointment and reiterated my expectations related to classroom behavior.
Later that same day, I had a conversation with two young persons related to their behavior in the church. I will admit that their behavior was distracting to myself and to others, and really did not allow people to focus their attention on God. I spoke calmly to them, but I also laid out my expectations and reasons for being disappointed in their behavior.
The reactions to my use and choice of words were polar opposites. One youth was on the verge of tears; another seemed indifferent; the child in the classroom was almost defiant. Our words have the power to bring out the worst or the best in someone. Proverbs 18:21 says that "the tongue has the power of life and death...", so we ought not take the power of words lightly. They can build up or destroy our spirits. Words can wound or heal; regardless, we must remember that our words have power. We must choose and use them wisely.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Au Natural
Next week is the anniversary of the day we met our children. Around this time we were feverishly packing, trying to figure out what we would need for a trip intended to be 3 1/2 weeks long, but turned into more than 5. I remember the day we went to meet and pick up our kids. We left our hotel (the first of three) later than we intended, and once we arrived, had kids in our arms.
In the ensuing days, I noticed their fascination with electronics - our computers, cameras, the television and DVD player, turning on the lights, and watching me use the water treatment system to purify drinking water. They've been fascinated with electronics ever since - watching television and movies, remote-controlled cars, Wii, and their personal computers and Leap Frog readers. However, I have also noticed that once they use these items for a period of time, they put them away; they are satisfied. They have had their curiosity curbed until the next time.
In contrast, I think about many of their other firsts: seeing giraffes at the zoo, growing a garden, experiencing the first snowfall, hiking Mount Rainier, and seeing their breath as we changed terminals in New York City. Each one of these firsts, and many more, were so exciting for the kids. The looks on their faces were unmatched by any other experience as they saw their breath (because they'd never experienced cold); the joy the boys felt as they touched snow on the mountain for the first time told a greater story than any toy they had received. They still have so much excitement when they see their breath, or play in the water.
The things of the world are just that: things. Things don't offer us eternal happiness. Things don't really show us who God is and what God can do. Having the biggest and the best doesn't fulfill us. I am pleased and humbled that my children already know this lesson. They have experienced the things of this world, and although they enjoy them, at the end of the day, my kids can set them aside. The things of God, of nature, of beauty, of simplicity - these are the things that bring them unspeakable joy.
Perhaps we need a return to nature; to realize again that what God created, God called good, and made for our enjoyment. What God creates is so much bigger, better, more awesome and awe-inspiring than what we can create for ourselves. The more we appreciate what God creates and offers to us, the more closely we will follow God. A year into parenthood, I thank God for children who remind me of that lesson each and every day.
In the ensuing days, I noticed their fascination with electronics - our computers, cameras, the television and DVD player, turning on the lights, and watching me use the water treatment system to purify drinking water. They've been fascinated with electronics ever since - watching television and movies, remote-controlled cars, Wii, and their personal computers and Leap Frog readers. However, I have also noticed that once they use these items for a period of time, they put them away; they are satisfied. They have had their curiosity curbed until the next time.
In contrast, I think about many of their other firsts: seeing giraffes at the zoo, growing a garden, experiencing the first snowfall, hiking Mount Rainier, and seeing their breath as we changed terminals in New York City. Each one of these firsts, and many more, were so exciting for the kids. The looks on their faces were unmatched by any other experience as they saw their breath (because they'd never experienced cold); the joy the boys felt as they touched snow on the mountain for the first time told a greater story than any toy they had received. They still have so much excitement when they see their breath, or play in the water.
The things of the world are just that: things. Things don't offer us eternal happiness. Things don't really show us who God is and what God can do. Having the biggest and the best doesn't fulfill us. I am pleased and humbled that my children already know this lesson. They have experienced the things of this world, and although they enjoy them, at the end of the day, my kids can set them aside. The things of God, of nature, of beauty, of simplicity - these are the things that bring them unspeakable joy.
Perhaps we need a return to nature; to realize again that what God created, God called good, and made for our enjoyment. What God creates is so much bigger, better, more awesome and awe-inspiring than what we can create for ourselves. The more we appreciate what God creates and offers to us, the more closely we will follow God. A year into parenthood, I thank God for children who remind me of that lesson each and every day.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Good Stewardship
When you think of the word stewardship, what comes to mind? Using money wisely? That annual letter you get from the church asking for money, a pledge, or a commitment? Recycling? What is stewardship?
If you're looking at stewardship from a holistic approach, it has to do with a lot more than money. Yes, money does have something to do with it, but it's not all that stewardship means. Stewardship is about taking care of what God gives us. We need to be good stewards of the money we make. John Wesley encouraged people to give all they could, save all they could, and spend all they could.
We need to be good stewards of more than money, though. We need to be good stewards of the food we purchase, and eat it before it spoils. We need to be good stewards of the environment, purchasing biodegradable goods, using fuel-efficient cars, screwing in energy-efficient light bulbs, and so on. I can remember one gentleman who was in a former church who would go through the church each week and turn off lights in rooms after the rooms were finished being used, then remind us that we needed to purchase more efficient light bulbs.
I think the list of what we need to be good stewards of could go on forever, but let me mention a couple that I believe honor God and our commitment to the church. One element of stewardship, for Christians, is tithing (or moving toward a tithe) by giving 10% of your income to God. I won't get into specifics about whether it should be from your gross or net income (before or after taxes), or whether it should be to the church or to other charitable organizations, but I think Christians should tithe or take steps to move toward a tithe.
Christians also need to be good stewards of time. If you can't give to serve God financially, you can give of your time. I see this time and time again in the church I serve. This week, I've witnessed people giving their time to install updates to our church facilities; tweak the sound system so that all can hear; and give time to raise money for youth ministry and camp scholarships.
Christians also need to be good stewards of what God gives them; in other words, use the spiritual gifts God gives you. Each Christian is uniquely equipped to serve God. No one has the exact same gifting for ministry as you do. So, if you have a gift (and everyone does), use it!
Christians also need to keep in mind the other stewarding issues (recycling, environment, reducing debt, supporting local businesses, etc.), but the three I mentioned - tithing, time, and talents, are those that we should be developing. As we do, we develop good stewardship. I am thankful that I serve a congregation that is generous in its stewardship, and I'm grateful that they are teaching me how to generous as well.
If you're looking at stewardship from a holistic approach, it has to do with a lot more than money. Yes, money does have something to do with it, but it's not all that stewardship means. Stewardship is about taking care of what God gives us. We need to be good stewards of the money we make. John Wesley encouraged people to give all they could, save all they could, and spend all they could.
We need to be good stewards of more than money, though. We need to be good stewards of the food we purchase, and eat it before it spoils. We need to be good stewards of the environment, purchasing biodegradable goods, using fuel-efficient cars, screwing in energy-efficient light bulbs, and so on. I can remember one gentleman who was in a former church who would go through the church each week and turn off lights in rooms after the rooms were finished being used, then remind us that we needed to purchase more efficient light bulbs.
I think the list of what we need to be good stewards of could go on forever, but let me mention a couple that I believe honor God and our commitment to the church. One element of stewardship, for Christians, is tithing (or moving toward a tithe) by giving 10% of your income to God. I won't get into specifics about whether it should be from your gross or net income (before or after taxes), or whether it should be to the church or to other charitable organizations, but I think Christians should tithe or take steps to move toward a tithe.
Christians also need to be good stewards of time. If you can't give to serve God financially, you can give of your time. I see this time and time again in the church I serve. This week, I've witnessed people giving their time to install updates to our church facilities; tweak the sound system so that all can hear; and give time to raise money for youth ministry and camp scholarships.
Christians also need to be good stewards of what God gives them; in other words, use the spiritual gifts God gives you. Each Christian is uniquely equipped to serve God. No one has the exact same gifting for ministry as you do. So, if you have a gift (and everyone does), use it!
Christians also need to keep in mind the other stewarding issues (recycling, environment, reducing debt, supporting local businesses, etc.), but the three I mentioned - tithing, time, and talents, are those that we should be developing. As we do, we develop good stewardship. I am thankful that I serve a congregation that is generous in its stewardship, and I'm grateful that they are teaching me how to generous as well.
Friday, February 04, 2011
Where's God When I'm Sccccaaared???
Tonight was momentous for our family. We have been home from Ghana for more than ten months. On rare occasions, my daughter has petted one of our two dogs. For someone who is less than 1/3 the weight of our dogs, it's understandable to be scared. I think I would be, too! Several times, if we had our daughter in a papasan chair, she would let the dogs come into the room to watch a movie or television with us - but she rarely touched our older dog, and wouldn't go near the younger one.
Tonight, we decided to take another step. Our daughter would sit on the couch with a pillow on her lap, and our oldest dog would come in and sit on the couch next to her. We prepped our daughter for what might happen (sniffing, etc.). The dog came in, ate some cookies to distract her, and then promptly sat down and chewed on a bone. She went to see each person in the family, except our daughter, and then went back to the bone. At one point, I got down on the floor next to the dog and started petting her. Our daughter had had enough of her fear; she threw off her blanket and the pillow, and said she was going to pet the dog. And that was the end of her fear. For the rest of the night, she petted, followed around, and annoyed the dog...and now, the dog is sleeping in bed with her upstairs.
We're all afraid of something. Recently, I've been having Facebook and face-to-face conversations with someone who wants to have God in her life, but doesn't know how to ask. She's scared that she'll do it wrong; pray the wrong way; etc. There's no right way to do it. Just like working with our daughter to be with the dogs, you can accomplish the same goal in many different ways. It doesn't matter how you pray; it matters that you pray. It doesn't matter how you ask Jesus into you heart; it matters that you do.
There's great joy in my heart for those who allow fear to escape them, and allow God to dwell in them. In these past few weeks, it's for a young woman who has found God in Jesus Christ. And tonight, it's for my daughter, who knows that with God, anything is possible!
Tonight, we decided to take another step. Our daughter would sit on the couch with a pillow on her lap, and our oldest dog would come in and sit on the couch next to her. We prepped our daughter for what might happen (sniffing, etc.). The dog came in, ate some cookies to distract her, and then promptly sat down and chewed on a bone. She went to see each person in the family, except our daughter, and then went back to the bone. At one point, I got down on the floor next to the dog and started petting her. Our daughter had had enough of her fear; she threw off her blanket and the pillow, and said she was going to pet the dog. And that was the end of her fear. For the rest of the night, she petted, followed around, and annoyed the dog...and now, the dog is sleeping in bed with her upstairs.
We're all afraid of something. Recently, I've been having Facebook and face-to-face conversations with someone who wants to have God in her life, but doesn't know how to ask. She's scared that she'll do it wrong; pray the wrong way; etc. There's no right way to do it. Just like working with our daughter to be with the dogs, you can accomplish the same goal in many different ways. It doesn't matter how you pray; it matters that you pray. It doesn't matter how you ask Jesus into you heart; it matters that you do.
There's great joy in my heart for those who allow fear to escape them, and allow God to dwell in them. In these past few weeks, it's for a young woman who has found God in Jesus Christ. And tonight, it's for my daughter, who knows that with God, anything is possible!
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